++Magazine

Man will become better when you show him what he’s like – Anton Chekov

From the first time they had sex, he knew he couldn’t handle the fact she would have sex with other men once they broke up – Andrew McInteyre

One wing man ain’t enough, you need two wings to fly baby! – Stephane Mbeki

To have rules is good, to break them even better – Zeynep Aydin

I’m not born to be cool, I’m born to be happy – Nebil Guven

Listen to your heart, while using your brain – Evren Dogru

1.
A song for the sad

I wish I died sooner
Cause life is too hard
Don’t want to give up
But I’m not moving forward

I’ve let go of my goals
The weight is off my shoulders
I look around and see nothing,
Smell nothing, care bout nothing

Tylenol, XTC or Aspirins
I’ve lost track
I take them all
Looking for better days

No more tears
No more sad
Just me
And my remaining time

By Ufuk Asik
—–

2.
The sound of coming

Kama Sutra, Yoga, Buddha
I want to know it all
It’s the only time when I seem to be free
Letting it all out
On her face and in her mouth

I look in the mirror
And see this guy with his dick in his hand
The sparkle in my eye makes me say:
Ain’t life grand!

By Stephane Mbeki
—–

3.
Didn’t we live here?

The Jews are coming
Close your doors
Hide your children
This isn’t the time for joking

The Jews are coming
To claim our country
No one’s going to help you
They gave them money

The Jews are coming
Don’t just sit there, do something
Total chaos
Look at everybody running

The Jews are coming
To take away our freedom
Until one day Karma kicks in
And gives peace a chance to win

By Ilkin Yildiz
—–

4.
Disco Fever

I’m addicted to dancing
When I do it I’m happy
No tomorrow, no career
Just me and the beat

My body understands it
Moving my feet
It’s not about others
But about freedom

Don’t look at me like that
I’m not insane
Can’t stop anymore
I’ve got Disco Fever

By Martha Gilroy
—–

5.
Camel

Cramp in my feet
Must have been the driving
Did I turn off the gas?

These people stink
Big mustaches and white shirts
I hate religion

The sea is cold
Diarrhea is on its way
Hey look! A camel!

By Nebil Guven
—–

6.
Jesus H. Christ

Fingers like a pig
Are you dumb?
Look at your fucking kid

No respect for my rules
Just do whatever you want
You’re no Christian

I’m going to tell
My dad, he’s going to
Send you to hell!

By Zeynep Aydin

Sitting there, looking at her ass shake from side to side on the sound of the beat, I started to understand why I wanted her so badly. It just made me think of fried chicken and watermelon. The barbeque sauce I would lick from her crack. Yummeeh! I could already imagine introducing her to my friends. Oh boy, all the jealous looks I would get. The fights they would get with their girlfriends when they got home over nothing. Just because they’re frustrated cause they know they will never tap something like this. But how to seduce her? My kosher roots haven’t really given me any soulful capacities and I didn’t think my sarcastic humor would get me lucky tonight. Maybe I should just go up to her and be like, ‘Hey, what’s your name? I’m Lechaim’. Fuck, she’ll probably laugh in my face and ignore me. What would I call myself? Am I a John or a Mike? Damn, screw this. I’ll find something else to say. Perhaps I should ask her ‘Hey girl. Where’d you get that body from? Did you get it from your mama?’ Yeah, maybe not. Stop thinking man! Just go to her and do your thing. Ok, but first I needed a shot of something.

I went to the bar and ordered a beer and a tequila shot. The fuck face behind the bar gave me a Bloody Mary and a shot of tequila. How can you hear Bloody Mary in the word beer. It’s not even two words goddamn it. What? Is it the B? You think? Well, I needed the drinks so I decided to chug them. Was she still there? Oh yeah. Hell yeah. It seemed like her ass got even bigger and rounder in these five minutes. How those colored lights made it look like we were in a Snoop video. I wondered if I could make her butt do the wave while fucking her doggy style. I’m drifting off. No time to waste. Gotta move in. Charlie to Alpha Brava. Get in position, over! One last time to review what you’re going to say. I could talk about my money. She seems like a gold digging bitch. ‘Wssup sugar? You want anything to drink? Want Gold or hundred dollar bills maybe? I’ve got it all’. This might work. Girls love rich guys with a sense of the streets. I’m going in.

Just as I washed away the red drama with some salt and lemon, I turned around and what….. What the fuck? Is that Jermaine? What the fuck is he doing there? Goddamn backstabber. Fucking asshole! Is that even called dancing? Disgusting! She just lost all her dignity. They’re like monkeys. I hate monkeys. I mean, I think they’re funny to watch in the zoo, but I would never want to fuck a monkey! You know?! Fuck it, she’s probably to dumb to talk about politics or movies anyways. I could’ve never moved myself to have sex with her twice. It’s better this way. Jermaine needed a lay. Now she’ll be one of those girlfriends of my friends that just make me happy to be single. Aaaargh! What’s this pain in my stomach? I think my bowel movements just found some kind of ancient Jewish rhythm. Stop it, man! It makes me want to fart. Oh yeah, this feels better. No, no, no! I feel wetness. I think this Bloody Mary gave me diarrhea. I’m gonna kill that fucking bartender. Running to the toilet there was only one thing on my mind that could save this night: I just hope there’s toilet paper.