++Magazine

How scared am I of taking on big things in life? Like making babies or putting my mother in a nursing home. A lot I think. I broke up with my last boyfriend because he bought me The Secret so I could make some serious career choices. How retarded can you be? Not me, but him! Buying a book to change me. Our relationship was too boring anyways. The sex was bad, our arguments were without passion and every time I threw domestic objects at him he would ignore my crazy behavior. Rationalistic fuck!

Some people just don’t know the meaning of life. I just like Haribo so much. Is that a crime? Do I have to give that up to grow up? Ich don’t think so. My uncle used to tell me that I should stick to what I want to do and not stray from that path. I’ll never forget that. Unfortunately he is dead now. Overdose of smack…

I used to make jokes about a For Dummies book about how to be happy, but it turned out that there really is such a book. Now why should I grow up and be part of that world where people would read a book with a Fido Dido look-a-like on the cover and really get affected by it. I’m good here with Alice in my Wonderland.

The music I listen to touches me every time. Happy, sad, dramatic, aggressive, whatever. I want to hold on to being that little girl that doesn’t know that people aren’t always nice. They are here. Where the grass is always the greenest and I never have plans of moving away. The biggest thing in this place is the gap between the days when I try to sleep. But when I open my eyes the next day I’m back on track: welcome new day! I hope this life never ends and my brother decides to let my mother live with them.

1.
A song for the sad

I wish I died sooner
Cause life is too hard
Don’t want to give up
But I’m not moving forward

I’ve let go of my goals
The weight is off my shoulders
I look around and see nothing,
Smell nothing, care bout nothing

Tylenol, XTC or Aspirins
I’ve lost track
I take them all
Looking for better days

No more tears
No more sad
Just me
And my remaining time

By Ufuk Asik
—–

2.
The sound of coming

Kama Sutra, Yoga, Buddha
I want to know it all
It’s the only time when I seem to be free
Letting it all out
On her face and in her mouth

I look in the mirror
And see this guy with his dick in his hand
The sparkle in my eye makes me say:
Ain’t life grand!

By Stephane Mbeki
—–

3.
Didn’t we live here?

The Jews are coming
Close your doors
Hide your children
This isn’t the time for joking

The Jews are coming
To claim our country
No one’s going to help you
They gave them money

The Jews are coming
Don’t just sit there, do something
Total chaos
Look at everybody running

The Jews are coming
To take away our freedom
Until one day Karma kicks in
And gives peace a chance to win

By Ilkin Yildiz
—–

4.
Disco Fever

I’m addicted to dancing
When I do it I’m happy
No tomorrow, no career
Just me and the beat

My body understands it
Moving my feet
It’s not about others
But about freedom

Don’t look at me like that
I’m not insane
Can’t stop anymore
I’ve got Disco Fever

By Martha Gilroy
—–

5.
Camel

Cramp in my feet
Must have been the driving
Did I turn off the gas?

These people stink
Big mustaches and white shirts
I hate religion

The sea is cold
Diarrhea is on its way
Hey look! A camel!

By Nebil Guven
—–

6.
Jesus H. Christ

Fingers like a pig
Are you dumb?
Look at your fucking kid

No respect for my rules
Just do whatever you want
You’re no Christian

I’m going to tell
My dad, he’s going to
Send you to hell!

By Zeynep Aydin

When I’m out on the streets I only fart when I walk next to kids or bums, so people won’t think the smell comes from me. To exaggerate I even try to inhale through my nose as loud as I can and then make an ugly face as in ‘Ow my God! What’s this horrific smell’. Then I look around and lock on to the scapegoat I’ve chosen and while looking at him/her I shake my head disapprovingly. If my fart is really strong I tend to go on with shaking and maybe even mumble something like ‘Shameless guy’ or when it’s a baby ‘How cute, but it’s wrong!’.

I want to come when my muscular and sweaty boy toy is pounding away like he’s the new Dirk Diggler. I want him to think of my body as a sexual temple and he’s a fundamentalist trying to earn his way in to heaven! It’s not too much to ask, is it? He asks me to swallow, and I do just that. Not every time of course, but still, do you think I like having a protein shake In the middle of the night?! Then how come he’s such a selfish prick? I don’t understand how men can think this way. Every game has certain rules and you have to obey those rules to play the game.  But why is the male orgasm the final whistle for sex? I don’t care about emancipation at work. I could fuck myself up to wherever I want. This is about pleasure. It’s about joy, It’s about love and peace. If he continues to be such a avid underperformer, I might turn into a sadistic bitch. No more Mrs. Nice Lady. Maybe I’ll tell him his penis is reminding me of my ex-boyfriends pinky. Or maybe I’ll tell him that when I lick his balls, all I smell is shit. I don’t want to go the Israeli way. I don’t want to hate, but what to do? I’ve had a lot of guys and of course there are some rare exceptions, but every time I have sex with a man they come. And how?!
They come shaking their heads, moaning like Art Blakey, looking like epileptic patients in front of a stroboscope. Yet they choose to deny this ultimate pleasure to a woman. How dare they impose this inequality? But I have the answer girls! I won’t let them fuck me anymore before they give me an orgasm. Doesn’t matter how. Fingers, tongue, nose, electrical appliances. As long as he gets the job done. And then we’ll see if I’ll go all the way for him. The next feministic wave is going to be strictly capitalist! And I know we have the stronger currency, so let them beg to enter my gold mine!!